


Food Service Drone Zim

by Ultimate_Nerd_Lady



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Other, Soul crushing fast food jobs, some post Zim redemption arc zadf. As a treat.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-19 00:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22368751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultimate_Nerd_Lady/pseuds/Ultimate_Nerd_Lady
Summary: A little short fic featuring Zims time working for Sizz Lorr on the first round.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Food Service Drone Zim

_Log number 1_

_Behold feeble minds, the audio recorded journal of Irken Invader Zim. Currently at base on a planet called “foodcourtia.” It seems to be an odd place to put an invader seeing as this place is already conquered but nevertheless I am here anyways._

_This irritating Sizz Lorr creature seems to have me confused for an irken of lowlier status. He barks orders at me for meager things such as mopping the floors and working the register and cooking slogin! Slogin! Complete junk food!_

_I’m certain this mistake will be cleared up soon, but for now I will-_

“Zim! You’re not on break!”

Zim groaned and mimicked what was said to him with mocking lip flaps while he was approached by the fry lord.

“Look, I get you’re not used to this stuff, but I’m trying to run a business here. You gotta buckle down sooner or later, and I’d prefer sooner.”

“AN INVADERS SPIRIT CAN NEVER BE BROKEN SIZZ LORR!”

“I… didn’t say anything about breaking your spirit.”

Zim watched his blinks of confusion. Yes. Blink… and one day he would blink and Zim would use that moment of weakness to attack him! He started laughing to himself. A high and mighty evil laugh worthy of an invader.

“Uh… what’s so funny?”

“Oh think nothing of it.” Zim smiled “I have everything the way I want!”

“Alright. Then go behind the friers. There’s a few people asking for trench fries.”

Zim marched to the kitchen a swagger in his step that made people move out of the way and looked at the friers. There were the trench fries inside that he was being told to retrieve. A task unworthy of him when he was so advanced but whatever. He stuck his hand inside the frier.

“AAAAAAAAAAA-“

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Log number 2_

_My hand has recovered enough since the friers assault enough for me to use it to hold this recorder while I work again._

_Sizz Lorr just called me “inexperienced” for that incident. Hah! Me, Zim, inexperienced? I am simply at a level that cancels out any inferior knowledge from coming to me._

_But I have learned how to use the frier._

“Zim, you can’t talk back to the customers.” 

“But you should have heard her!” Zim waved his arms around knocking the small knick-knacks on the office shelf off of the stands and to the ground “She was all ‘aren’t you the moron who nearly destroyed planet Irk?’”

“You _are_ the moron who nearly destroyed planet Irk.” Sizz Lorr reminded him.

“That’s a great accomplishment! No irken soldier is capable of that much raw destruction on their own! They should be praising me, you hear? PRAISING!”

“I can hear. You’re very loud.”

Zim stared at him for a moment before going back on his tangent.

“Why should I have to be listening to insults from inferior beings?”

“It’s just not a good idea to be rude to people who are paying us. I’d offer you could vent to me afterwards but I…” He paused for a moment, seemingly lost in thought before coming down with “I don’t like you. At all.”

“Yes, I know, you hate my extreme prowess enough to challenge you!”

“No. I just think you’re a fundamentally unlikable person.”

“Powerful and mighty! I could crush you in an instant!”

“Get out of my office Zim.”

Zim gave a satisfied march out reveling from the final words Sizz Lorr uttered.

“Soldiers. What are they teaching them?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Log number 3_

_This place stinks._

_~~~~~~~~~~~_

_Log number 10_

_Gashloog chews too loud when he’s on break_

_~~~~~~~~~~_

_Log number 58_

_I’d give anything to be subjugating some unworthy species right now._

_~~~~~~~~~~_

_Log number 2579_

_Sizz Lorr is mad at me for recording 70 of these in a ro-_

“Okay I’m taking this thing!” Sizz Lorr shouted grabbing the recorder “Zim, I’m trying to give you a few freedoms, which is already a lot considering you almost wiped out our species, but I am sick of your attitude!”

“Sick? Sick of me? Do you have any idea about the injustices I’ve faced here on this wretched food planet?” Zim shouted “I have been burnt! Insulted! Forced to spend time on end in this miserable pile of grease and waste! Waste of talent! I’m dirty! I’m demeaned! I am-“

“You, are specifically here as punishment! It’s not supposed to be nice!” Sizz Lorr shouted “You should be thankful not to have been put on trial as a defective for your crimes!”

“You dare insinuate that I am a defective?”

“Maybe I am! But I don’t care about that! All I care about is having a part of the working force here and now! That’s what you can do Zim!”

“What I can do? Do you have any idea what I’m capable of? I made invader! I am loyal to the empire! I am an indestructible death machine! I’m-“

“You’re a FOOD SERVICE DRONE!”

Every eye in the restaurant became focused on the argument as Sizz Lorr screamed his piece. Zim gave him the glare only a schlorbeez wouldn’t be afraid of. But Sizz Lorr wasn’t dettered.

“Just… go on break. The foodening is starting soon. Might as well rest a moment before the big crowd comes in.”

Zim took that as a victory and marched off. He was an invader.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, you’re telling me that people in your species are literally just programmed as fast food workers. That’s how it is their whole life.” Dib recapped “And you were made into one of those fast food workers.”

“If you dare mention this to anyone else Dib-smell I’m calling off the truce.”

“Wait. So that time, back in elementary skool, during career day, when you got assigned to McMeaties…”

“Okay, I’m going back to trying to conquer your planet now.”

“You declare that whenever someone looks at you funny. Not to mention right now we’re on a spaceship worlds away from said planet. We’re kind of past that point.” He shrugged “But I can see why you broke free of it. You were raised with all that cool hyping up and then bam. Reassigned to flipping burgers. Now the people who’s entire lives were just about learning how to serve food… I can believe that they’d be raised in a way to never question where they are.” He took out a notepad “So one of our goals when we free your species is getting the fast food guys chances to run decent jobs.”

“Psh. You’re not even going to be alive by the time I, Zim, have freed the irken empire and become a hero.”

“Shut up space turd!”

“Well anyways, I do have some unfinished business with Sizz Lorr. Even though I hate him.”

“You never were a charismatic charmer.” Dib claimed “Maybe you can go back to work there for a while. Someone’s gotta do it. You’ve got years of lost time.”

Zim gave him a swift kick in the ribs.

“OW! Jerk!”

“Ugly monkey!”

“Space monster!”

“Stink beast!”

“ROBOT!”

“NOT NOW GIR!”


End file.
